You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
