I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Sober January is a disaster.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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