Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My bed smells like the plague
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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