either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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