I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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