are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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