Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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