Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
