Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
