An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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