Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
