And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
be right there i have to get my cape
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
