when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I touched a dick in church today
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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