I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
