They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
