I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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