I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
