At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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