drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
50% drunk capacity currently
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
