see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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