We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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