i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
