The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
