bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
