i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
