Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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