After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
