Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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