No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
