remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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