I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
