I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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