The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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