I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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