You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
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They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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