The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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