hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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