okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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