Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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