I wanna passion pit in your ass
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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