Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
