So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
