So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
