You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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