I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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