We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
