he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
