let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
