return my video game
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
