Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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