WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
