note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
