Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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