Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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