I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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