either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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