i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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