I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
