i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
